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How To Teach Your Children Responsibility


Children will not always be children. From an early age, they must be taught responsibility. Thus, they will be able to adapt easily to different situations in life.

To do this is easier than most of us think.

Here are some insights.

Give them tasks appropriate to their gender and age

Their ability to perform assigned tasks greatly depends on whether they are suitable. It is obviously necessary to respect the tastes and the character of the children. 

It is also necessary to give them understandable and clear instructions on how to do it, to give them simple explanations. Thus, they will feel more and more independent and happy to be so.

For children from 4 to 6 years old

They learn how to set and clear the table, put away their toys, fold clean laundry and put dirty laundry in the laundry tub. They also need to learn to go to the toilet alone and take a shower. After shopping, they like to carry food and help put it away.

For children from 6 to 12 years old

They become more and more autonomous and responsible. Indeed, they begin to discern right from wrong. They therefore more easily recognize a good gesture and a gesture not to be reproduced. They can then help out with household chores.

There are many tasks suitable for children of this age. They can make their bed and tidy their room on their own, clean it and vacuum it. They can also run errands, take care of their pets and take out the garbage bag. 

Apart from that, they have to be taught how to load and empty the dishwasher, wash and put away the dishes, prepare breakfast and share other domestic life such as peeling vegetables, making a cake, baking pasta and tidy up the shoe cabinet.

Children over 12 years old

They are teenagers and can have all the responsibilities, especially that of managing their school work on their own.

At 15, we must be morally responsible because, at any age, we are morally responsible for our actions. We must know the difference between a ”  good act ” and an ”  evil act “.

For example, we must know what will cause an act if we commit it and assume the consequences.

Encourage them

Mother and daughter embracing. Mother is consoling her girl.

The word “we” has a great impact on the behavior and mentality of children. Indeed, this means that there is mutual aid between parents and children. 

The “doing with” is essential for the 2-year-old and disappears as the child becomes able to do things alone. Thus, they will be able to voluntarily perform the tasks assigned to them with the pleasure of “doing well and alone”.

Examples: We are going to prepare breakfast together, you can heat the milk in the microwave. We’ll go shopping together, you can bring the shopping cart home and put the milk and water in the cupboard. 

We are going to make a cake, you can read the recipe and weigh the ingredients, do you want to break the eggs?

To ensure the development of children, routines are of great importance. Therefore, the tasks to be performed must be in the same order and on a regular basis.

After the efforts made by the children, the parents must comfort them. Only the pleasure of the tasks performed is the result.

 There is no need to give a reward! For example, if the child and his parent have finished putting the laundry in the dryer, they are satisfied and there is time for everyone to play, read or watch a program, or play a board game together.

Use the formula “as soon as we have finished, we can then…” and above all never give orders!

You yourself don’t like it when someone gives you an order instead of asking you!

Give them positive feedback


For the development of children’s autonomy, positive feedback is essential. 

In order to make the chores more fun, parents can propose a room tidying contest, a little choreography with the vacuum cleaner, etc. Thus, the children will have a lot of fun when performing the tasks.

Parents should also praise their children after they complete their assigned assignments. It may not be the expected result, but you should never blame them after their effort. 

In fact, it can lead them to lose their self-confidence and they will certainly be demotivated. Talk to them diplomatically and, if necessary, explain the instructions again. 

They are learnersand not performing animals that must obey. Parents will need a lot of patience with their children, because each of them has their own character. 

Moreover, teaching a child a sense of responsibility is not at all easy. It will take time for the tasks to become routine for them and for them to understand the need for them.

Fulfillment of responsibilities begins when the child is young. Parents have a duty to teach their children the importance of responsibility. Teaching this value is primarily the responsibility of parents, starting by setting an example. 

The child who learns does what he sees, he learns by imitating. Responsibility is defined as the performance of obligations or the making of a DECISION.

Moreover, the awareness of the action to fulfill one’s responsibilities, or on the contrary, not to do so, is everyone’s decision, sooner or later he will be wrong. 

The child must be taught to deal with problems on his own. This will help him increase his self-esteem and sense of responsibility.

Avoid using punishment

Parents having good time with their children
Parents having good time with their children

The best way to teach your child to be a responsible person is to copy your role model. It is important to show as parents that you are a committed and fulfilled person in all your tasks. So you can expect him to do it responsibly too.

The child learns and does what he sees much faster when explained verbally. 

For this reason, aggressive attitudes or punishments are not the most appropriate means to achieve goals. 

Instead, your child will need to learn to dialogue, listen and value the opinions of others, as well as their own opinions. Dialogue, communication and reasoning must replace aggressiveness and imposition with force, violence risking to become the model to imitate “when I grow up”

Avoid overprotective parenting

Parents having good time with their children
Parents having good time with their children

There are parents who try to avoid the difficulties that their children may face. 

They solve everything, without letting the child realize that he is in trouble. With this model, the child grows up with the conviction that he does not have to worry about anything. 

Therefore, the child never makes decisions and does not take responsibility for the problem. It makes this child totally dependent and insecure, he will not clearly know the importance of responsibility

He may then believe that he is not capable or that you do not trust him; he may also think that the parents, alone, do what they want and decide.

Finally, there is a big difference between need and want. Explain to your child that we buy what we need and not what we want! 

You will also need, from the age of 12, to establish a budget with your child so that he can save money and only then eventually buy what he wants.

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