Marriage is a union between two people. When I say two people, I mean two people that represent different cultures, possess different characters and ideologies and come from different backgrounds. Marriage is very beautiful when both parties use their differences to spice up their union. But, what happens when they allow their differences to come in between them? I will tell you, they create a platform for conflict to breed.
Why does conflict exist in marriage?
Conflict exists in our marriages generally today, simply because we allow our individual differences to become a factor for competition, have zero tolerance for the other party, and because we want everyone to agree to our point of view always. The truth we need to keep at the back of our mind is that in marriage, there will be conflicts, either minor( little disagreements, varying interests) or major conflicts.
Understand and accept your differences
If you remember clearly, the uniqueness of your spouse added spice to your relationship, when you first met. It was beautiful to know someone who thinks and does things differently. So what changed? I will tell you, you lost sight of the understanding that your partner is not you and will never act like you. You initially only admired the uniqueness, but you did not understand and accept it into your subconscious, so after a while, you started kicking against it. In marriage, know that your partner may do things differently not because he/she is abnormal but because they were raised differently. So give attention to learning and knowing your partner, after acquiring knowledge adjust your mindset and reactions to your differences. Your partner complements you in ways you may not know, so appreciate the uniqueness of your spouse and be grateful to God for bringing you both together.
Develop a selfless attitude
Please know that marriage doesn’t revolve around you alone. It takes two to tangle, so stop acting like you are married to yourself. Also, since you didn’t get married to yourself, stop expecting your partner to be like you. Do you understand? I really need you to understand this because it is key to maintaining a peaceful atmosphere in your home. Be considerate in your demands, make room for the weaknesses of your partner and learn to bend your will for peace to reign occasionally. When conflict occurs, decide to weigh the consequences of your actions before acting, let go of hurts and disappointments quickly, resolve issues and make provision for growth in your marriage.
Since you now know that conflict exists in marriage, you should also know that sometimes they may hurt so bad that your heart may break. This is the point where forgiveness comes in. Choose to put hurts behind you even if it appears so difficult. Don’t allow your issues to stay unresolved for too long. Be quick to forgive and move on.
Avoid the blame game
When there is a misunderstanding between you and your partner, don’t seek to throw blame around rather deal with issues with wisdom, patience, and diligence. Don’t judge your partner, but rather settle issues in love.
Choose to bless rather than insult your partner when conflicts occur. Work things out with your spouse and see beyond their shortcomings. You will be glad you did.