Does it mean I am not good enough?
Even if am not must it be rubbed on my face?
Don’t I deserve a chance?
Since am not good enough, does it means my life is not good too?
Should I just give up?
Should i commit suicide and end it all?
All these, were running through my head as I reminisce all the rejections I have faced. Walking down the boulevard with my letter of rejection from an interview I had put all my energy and intellect on. Funny enough, I saw satisfaction from the facial expression of the interviewers and this gave me assurance but why I was still rejected was a mystery to me.
The last straw that broke the camels back was the last rejection I got from some one very dear to me. I felt like the world was turning on its own. I did not see it coming, although I was noticing some uncalled attitudes but I didn’t know it will blow up to rejection. Why it pained my so much was that I had invested so much to make this relationship work. Alas!!!!! My heart was broken.
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Your story may not be same with mine, but you have your own perculiar rejection story. I know its painful and its not what ever one wants to go through. However, rejection is a necessary evil that every living being will under go. No matter how minute or chronic the rejection is, every body must have felt rejection in one way or the other. The truth about rejections is that it is painful and can have divers and negative effect on the rejectee, this is why you must understand how to handle rejections especially when you came with high expectations and was met with rejection.
In the context of this article, rejection is the action of not accepting or welcoming a phenomenon, subject or human. It means pushing away what you do not want.
Rejections can be majorly expressed in 3 several ways:
These ways of rejections may not be generic but they are the commonly used ways to communicate rejection. However no matter the means of communication, it is very imperative that you understand how to deal with rejection and how it works.
TYPES OF REJECTION
1) EMOTIONAL REJECTION
This the type of rejection that happens when your emotional life experience rejection. It is the type of rejection that happens when relationship breaks up. This rejection is attached to your feeling, so it will hurt you and cause heart break.
This rejection also happens when you are denied sexual pleasure in marriage, when your date turns you down or when someone turns down your marraige proposal. When people rejects your emotional benevolence or inputs, it doesn’t sink well but you can handle it.
2) INTELLECTUAL REJECTION
This occurs when your ideas and intellectual inputs are turn down. This can dampen your creativity if you don’t know how to handle it. This is the type if rejection you experience, when you are rejected during an interview or project defense.
When people do not believe in your intellectual capacity or ideas they tend to push it away. This also happen when you get rejected on your academic pursuit, say admission, scholarship, etc.
3) SOCIAL REJECTION
This occurs when the feel rejected by the agents of socialization. This happens when you experience rejection from your family, school,church, peer group and friends. This type of rejection may happen at any stage of your life and is likely to have adverse effect on the rejectee.
More so when you face rejection from parents, peers etc, it affect the way you relate in the society. Social rejection can also happen within your workspace. When you are not accepted within an environment on the basis of race, skin color, language, family background, financial status, it is called social rejection.
The class system is a major contributor of this kind of rejections as it tends to alienate individuals based on criteria peculiar to a set of social class.
4) HEALTH REJECTION
This happens when the two bodies are not compatible. For instance, blood group B cannot donate blood to blood group O, there will be automatic rejection.
5) FINANCIAL REJECTION
This the kind of rejection that occurs due to lack of purchasing power. Have you ever been embarrassed before, being sent out of school because you could afford a fee? Have you ever felt left out in a group when donation is going on and you don’t have? Have you ever been sent out of a mall or shop because you are not financially buoyant to pay? Have you been rejected access to a place because of financial demands? Those are typical examples of financial rejection.
EFFECTS OF REJECTION
Several rejections can lead to depression. Depression a state of mind producing serious, long-term lowering of enjoyment of life or inability to visualize a happy future. When people constantly reject you, you will feel down and you happiness will wane.
2) LOW SELF ESTEEM
Am I good enough? This question has always preceded every rejection, conscious or unconsciously. Rejections often leads to low value of self. It makes you look down on your self and degrade your self worth.
Often when people face social rejection, the swallow themselves in isolation and loneliness. People wants to mingles and when they are rejected, they find solace in the comfort of their loneliness and this is not always good as an idle mind is a ticking time bomb.
Rejection triggers responses in the body that can increase a person’s risk for maladies such as asthma, arthritis, cardiovascular disease, and depression, a new study says scientists at UCLA. Check https://www.webmd.com/
A large extent of suicide rates, happens because of rejections. A rejectee can consider suicide option when faced with multiple rejections. When the effects of rejection has reached a very chronic stage, suicide becomes an option.
HOW TO OVERCOME REJECTIONS
1) develop self worth and resilience
If you do not value yourself,create your worth and boost your self esteem, rejection can panel beat you into suicide. See your self as valuable. Do not let people judge how valuable you are. Be resilient, don’t wallow in the depression of rejection. Snap out of rejection by telling yourself how good you are. Positive affirmation.
You have to look yourself from the lenses of God, your creator. He made you and saw you were good. Don’t write out yourself when God has not written you out.
2) Increase in value
When you increase in value, the toll of rejections won’t get to you. Every time you are rejected, increase in value. Increase your worth and build your self higher. Acquire more relationships and connections, acquire more intelligence, more emotional stability, etc.
Make sure that you don’t remain at the level you were when you experience rejection, grow better than you were.
3) Get busy
Refuse to stay idle, refuse to keep reminiscing on your failures and rejections. Find something to do to be distracted from the thoughts of the rejections.
When you get idle, different thoughts of the rejection begins to find expression on you.
4) Stay with people who loves you
This is very important, stay with people who loves you. Avoid were you are sure you will be rejected. Glue with your loved one and enjoy the warmth of love.
Love heals the pains of rejections.
5) Expect it
It is ignorance not to expect a level of rejection in life. When you expect it, you get ready for it. To expect it, does not imply that you desire it. It just helps you curtail the level of hurt.
6)Convert it into motivatioN
This is the best you can do to your self. Don’t let rejection make you a failure. Leverage on it and grow, improve and expand.