Make your children happy: yes! Spoil them too much: no! If you care about not spoiling your children, here are 12 ways to teach your child that there are not only gifts in life (there is also love!)…
- Determine your rules
Even if it must break your heart, it is up to you, the parent, to impose your own rules. In the end, it is up to you to decide whether or not to buy this gift for your child, and not the other way around.
This advice is valid in all areas because your child learns to respect a framework that will necessarily be imposed on him in his future life. Whatever your decision, positive or negative, it must come from you to have an effect on your loulou.
- Do not try to fill a gap
Spoiling your child too much often reveals a lack that you are trying to fill… Without falling into clichés, it is not unusual to ask yourself the question at least once.
Because we work too much, because we have the impression of caring more for the youngest or because we expect him to be good in return… spoiling your child to fill a gap will never do him a favor!
- Explain without justifying yourself
To transmit your values to your child, you must explain your choice to him and not leave him with a “no”. It is important that he understands why you are refusing to buy him this present today, explaining the reasons to him, but not justifying yourself for hours.
This decision belongs to you and even if your child finds it unfair, he must accept it and above all understand it.
- Know how to identify a quirk
Children are used to having small tantrums – even big tantrums – to test their parents’ limits, especially before the age of 3 when their desires and emotions dominate them.
In this case, there is no need to try to reason with him, you will have to use tricks to divert the attention of your youngest.
- Ask your child about their motivations
In a store, your child is solicited from all sides, it is normal that he is tempted. Then consider him as a big one and make him talk to find out why he wants this toy so much.
When to tell him no? When you have the impression that he just wants to satisfy an immediate need. If he doesn’t seem very convinced or lacks an argument, your child will quickly find another fad!
- Be consistent
If there is a toy that you have always refused to buy for your child because you find it useless or it goes against your principles of education, do not give in!
Just because it’s Christmas doesn’t mean you have to make an exception to your parenting rules. Your child will jump at the chance to throw this flaw back in your face! Again, you have to explain your point of view to him.
- Empower your child
If your child has been seduced by a toy he saw on TV and he asks for it, take it with you to the store so he can see it in person.
In this way, your child will understand that his wishes do not come true on their own. He may also realize on his own that this toy is not so good or that he may have the exact same one in his toy box.
If he is convinced, it’s up to you to explain to him that among the plethora of toys he wants, he has to make a choice!
- Find a happy medium the rest of the year
We tend to spoil our child at Christmas and for their birthday because there is a good occasion, but what about the rest of the year?
You can give him gifts but always explain why (good grades, wisdom, etc.). Be careful not to buy him what he asks for without explanation: it should not become a habit either.
- Teach him the little pleasures of life
In life, it’s not just gifts! Teach your child that there are 1000 and one little pleasures in life that are better than yet another toy car. Promote moments spent together where your child opens his mind by offering him an alternative to a toy. Going out, cinema , exhibitions… So many activities which, of course, have a price, but which allow you to exchange with your family (and do not add a mess to your room)!
- Get rid of the guilt
Did I make the right choice? Am I not making my little one unhappy by “depriving” him of what he wants?
Or on the contrary, am I not doing too much?
It is not uncommon as a mother, to feel guilty, to be indecisive in the face of her educational choices. Your credo for this year: enjoy, without asking yourself too many questions.
You fell in love and flooded your loulou with gifts? It’s not very serious, if you keep in mind that it remains exceptional.
That’s also the spirit of Christmas!
- Teach them to say thank you
Whether it’s small, everyday things like a dinner you’ve made or bigger things like a birthday present you’re giving them, your child should be able to say thank you almost on reflex, without prompting.
Be a good role model by showing your child how you thank people around you, such as waiters or bank tellers.
Sit down and write thank you notes with your child (or have an older child do it themselves) to send to people who give them gifts or help them in some way.
- Discipline your child
One of the most important things parents teach their children is how to self-regulate so that there is little or no need for discipline.
Setting firm boundaries and expectations from an early age can make a huge difference in how a child behaves as they grow up.
Children who are taught early on to be pleasant, patient and self-controlled are more likely to make friends more easily and succeed in society. Disciplining children is one of the main ways parents can avoid spoiling them.